Cook County readers seek advice on resurfacing exes and late-arriving guests
Two local letters to the Dear Abby column address relationship dynamics and social etiquette.
By Matthew Brooks ·
Dear Abby received two letters from readers in Cook County on Oct. 28, 2026, asking for guidance on personal relationships and social obligations. The first letter comes from a 39-year-old woman in the northwest part of the county who has been with her husband for 20 years.
She notes that her two children are almost grown. Early in their relationship, her husband cheated on her several times. She says she was able to move past those incidents for the most part and that they now have a solid relationship. However, a few of her ex-boyfriends have reached out to her over the last 18 months. She has removed herself from all social media and job websites, but the men keep finding her.
One specific ex-boyfriend is occupying more time in her head than she thinks he should. She cannot stop thinking about him. About a year ago, they connected over the phone. Nothing happened in person. She felt awful and told him she could no longer talk to him. He found her again through a friend, and intrusive thoughts are creeping back in. She mentions that her husband slept with many women, while she has only ever slept with him. She feels like she missed out on something but cannot talk to anyone else about it.
In her reply, Abby advises the reader not to risk a solid relationship on a what-if. She states that the husband’s decades-old indiscretions are not an excuse to cheat on him now. Abby suggests letting those past events go completely, calling them ancient history. She recommends blocking the ex-boyfriend and asking friends to stop giving out the reader’s number without permission. If the reader needs to rekindle passion with her husband, Abby suggests consulting a licensed couples counselor, either together or on her own.
The second letter comes from a couple in the area who are described as mixed up in Arizona. They have longtime friends who said they would be passing through. The couple invited the friends to have dinner and spend the night. The friends accepted and confirmed their afternoon arrival date and time a week in advance.
Two hours before the scheduled arrival, the friends called. They said there was a mix-up and they were busy that night. They asked to push dinner back to 10:30 p.m. and said they would spend the entire next day visiting. The host couple never eats dinner that late, as bedtime is around 10 p.m. They also already had plans for the next day. The hosts adapted and offered light appetizers and dessert when the friends arrived at nearly 11 p.m. They excused themselves to retire at midnight after setting the guests up in the guest room.
The hosts reminded the guests they had to be on their way by 10 the next morning for an existing commitment. They said they could visit over coffee and pastries beforehand. The guests said they prefer to sleep late, until almost noon. They seemed genuinely miffed that the hosts did not change their plans. The hosts asked how Abby would have handled the situation. Abby replied that she would have handled it the same way and would not agree to host that presumptuous couple again in the future.
